Robin Denison, Miami College Professor, Loving Mother, and Alienated Parent, is the co-founder of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization which is an international organization, whose mission is to educate the public and professionals about Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation behaviors, and Hostile Aggressive Behaviors.
PAAO is the founder of Parental Alienation Awareness Day-April 25th, and has obtained the recognitions and proclamations of 9 state governors declaring April 25th as Parental Alienation Awareness Day.
Robin has been a contributor to various publications, including Dr. Ludwig Lowenstein's book, "Parental Alienation" in the UK.
PARENTAL ALIENATION AWARENESS
In the words of writer, Elizabeth Stone, “Making the decision to have a child-it’s momentous. It is deciding forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” Good Morning. My name is Robin Denison, Sarvy Emo and I are co-founders of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization.
We are here today in Washington as the voice of children and families. It is significant that the capital, symbol of freedom and independence, should be the backdrop for our voice for freedom to preserve the sanctity of our families.
I am honored to be among those who hold our children and families so dear. We have traveled thousands of miles to be the voice of children who cannot speak for themselves.
The mission of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization is to educate the public and professionals about prevention of and responses to, Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation behaviors, and Hostile Aggressive Parenting.
What do Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting do to our children? How has Parental Alienation affected our families?
Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting destroy families!
Many of us here have been alienated from someone we love. We are in pain!
We are the parents who clutch the memories of babies we once rocked, of toddlers who fell into our arms, and of children we guided in anticipation of their own adulthood.
But now, our memories have become dimmed by the bereavement for children who no longer lovingly call us Mom and Dad. The bonds with our children have been torn asunder.
These are children who have been poisoned by behaviors of others. Children whose dependency and suggestibility have made them susceptible by the very people they should have been able to trust-their parents.
When a parent perpetrates behaviors designed to interfere with the bond between a loving parent and child, they have violated that trust. When a child hears denigrating or untrue statements about a parent, they become angry. When a child is prevented from seeing or communicating with a parent, they become confused, and when a child becomes the confidante for inappropriate information about a parent, their loyalties conflict. These behaviors create a tear in the very fabric of the parent-child bond. Children experience some degree of parental alienation EVERY TIME they are exposed to these behaviors, regardless of INTENT.
These behaviors deprive children and family members of relationships with each other. They deprive children of positive role models on which to build their own families.
Those who we cherish the most-our children, have been placed in harm’s way. Parental Alienation behaviors inflict emotional abuse on both our children and the families they are forced to leave behind. These children struggle with psychological difficulties that may follow them well into adulthood. Our children have been set up for what, research suggests, may be years of self-esteem issues, drug and alcohol problems, and difficulties with their own relationships. Parental Alienation almost ensures that the sanctity of families will encounter roadblocks in succeeding generations.
This cycle of emotional abuse perpetrated on our families may become the legacy for the future. Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.
Our children have been manipulated. Those children, into whose innocence have been poured the poison of alienating and hostile aggressive parenting behaviors respond with fear, anger, and disregard for their own parent.
Who among us has heard bitter words from our children? Who among us has heard the disconnect of receivers when we call? Who among us has missed birthdays, graduations, and holidays? Who among us has received no acknowledgement of gifts, cards, or letters? And who among us has no shred of knowledge as to our children’s welfare?
Me? I miss the smile, the hug of my children. But most of all, I miss the “every dayness” of sharing lives.
Our children, and the families they leave behind, deserve far better. Parental Alienation must be recognized for the abuse of our children that it is. These behaviors, and the havoc they wreak on the very well- being of our children, must be understood by parents who would take aim at a divorcing spouse by using their children as weapons. It is crucial to understand, that the myopic view, created by ignorance, impedes our children’s well-being..
Let us allow PA, not to mean Parental Alienation, but rather, Prevention and Action. Our plan must spell out children.
“C” Clearer criteria for recognizing Parental Alienation behaviors must be developed, and consistency for dealing with those behaviors must be implemented on a timely basis.
“H” Help and support for families dealing with parental alienation and for children caught in family conflict must be made available. Children must be given guidance on how to remove themselves from parental war zones, while maintaining neutrality. A Children’s Bill Of Rights, available through schools, can help children become aware of certain behaviors that may occur during divorce.
Children must be given permission and encouragement to have both parents in their lives.
“I” Intervention and reintegration programs for those families affected by parental alienation must be tenable both physically and financially for all families.
“L” Legal and judicial communities must address Parental Alienation.- It should be as illegal to abuse children emotionally, as it is to abuse them physically.
“D” Dispensing of information and dialogue must be done in public forums and in the media. Lectures, workshops, articles, books, and network programming should be available as information-gathering resources.
“R” Resource utilization in the community must be encouraged. Teachers, counselors, youth leaders, and clergy can help facilitate positive changes in family interactions.
“E” Education for divorcing parents, judges, mental health professionals, and attorneys on preventions and interventions for Parental Alienation and the importance of maintaining relationships with both parents must be emphasized.
“N” National unity in the recognition of the harm Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting does to our children and families must be promoted. We want to thank the 9 governors who have either recognized or proclaimed April 25th as Parental Alienation Awareness Day. We want to encourage others to submit petitions for your governors, and we ask our elected officials to take steps to proclaim April 25th as National Parental Alienation Awareness Day.
We have seen success stories. I have just recently heard from my son, after 7 long, silence-filled years, “Mom, there’s no sense in rehashing the past-let’s just move forward”. To which I said, “Yes, son, forward is a good place to move”. But we must aim for families to stay united, even more than become reunited.
Prevention and action; those are the safeguards for our children.
We are the voices for those hearts that go walking outside our bodies. The freedom to hold both parents in equal esteem should become part of the legal and moral fiber of our nation. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves”.
Thank you. |
