YONDA ASHLEY

15 August 2007

Dr. Yonda Ashley has been an educator for more than 20 years. She has an extensive background that includes special needs children of various ages. Dr. Ashley is the Art Director of the New Millennium Learning Center in New York. She is the founder and co-director of the Children and Parents Network and is the author of a new and innovative program for children and parents called Stepping Stones to Success, A Parenting Guide.



We are here today to address the many challenges American Families are facing and to begin a National Dialogue with the hope of creating new and innovative solutions for the Preservation of the American Family.

I have been asked to speak about the education and parenting of our youth.

News reports, studies and statistics of the past few decades have conveyed the message that our youth are in serious trouble.

We are told our youth are directionless, explosive, lazy and spoiled.

Many of our youth have been described as not being able to cope with the challenges of our modern society and that they are not very intelligent.

We are told our youth are falling behind other Nations; that they simply can’t keep up.

It is the opinion of many in positions of power and influence that we are in grave danger of loosing an entire generation.

These are sobering statements which every concerned American must consider.

The commitment to keep this National Dialogue going and create new solutions which will benefit our families mark a new beginning of Hope For Our Nation.

Family life in America has undergone a radical and destructive revolution over the past 40 years.

The extremely high divorce rate is devastating our children: intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Teens are home unsupervised experimenting with sex and drugs.

Children are having babies, many don’t know who the father is and worse yet, these young mothers don’t think a child needs a father. When fact is; children need both parents to reach their fullest potential.

Where did our children get such self - destructive ideas?

They got these ideas and habits from us, the adults, their role models.

The parental responsibility of maintaining a family relationship has been neglected to the point where we as a Nation stand at the threshold of destruction.

Our youth are paying a heavy price.

The time has come to stop labeling our youth ADHD, oppositional defiant or underachiever just to ease our conscience for their behaviors.

Time has come to stop medicating our youth to suppress behaviors we don’t understand.

Time has come to stop ignoring our children.

We need to look beyond the surface and see the true beauty of our children so we can create new and exciting solutions.

Our youth have intelligences which no IQ could ever measure and abilities which no current school system could train.

Our youth have unique perceptions of the world. They have a sensitivity to the unspoken word, they instinctively know what you are thinking and feeling.

They have a natural affinity to the rhythms of Nature.

They are visionaries and they have a very special purpose.

Visionaries have a unique genius and many of our methods of parenting and educating are obsolete.

Labeling our youth with disorders or using drugs to suppress behaviors so they fit into a box are not the answers.

Many of our current methods are creating more chaos and are destroying our younger generation.

What can we do?

There is a great deal we can do.

Parents need to gain control of their families and we begin by asking our Federal government to recognize and protect the parent/child bond.

We don’t have to watch the news to know what is going on with our children.

We just have to look into the eyes of our children and build a bridge of trust through communication with LOVE.

A strong parent/child bond opens the door to a greater understanding of our youth and their needs. Then, we can parent and educate them effectively.

Our youth are our National Treasure, they are our future, they are a gifted GLOBAL GENERATION.

They deserve our commitment to heal the American Family.

The family is the foundation of our Nation and the family is the foundation our children need to be all they can be.

The wealth of this Nation is the tremendous capacity of the American heart to LOVE.

The power of LOVE is infinite and LOVE is all we need to create effective solutions for our families.

It is time for all of us to begin to pay attention to our youth. By doing so we will create new and exciting methods of parenting and educating.

We have an abundance of resources available to us, the most important being our freedom of speech.

Our united voices are all we need to spark a new beginning for America.

Let the legacy we give our children be one which provides them with all they need to be successful.

In closing I would like to leave you with this message;

LET US PUT OUR MINDS TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT LIFE WE CAN MAKE FOR OUR CHILDREN CHIEF SITTING BULL

Thank you and may LOVE continue to be the guiding light of America.



The Voice of Women in the 21st Century:

Go back in history to the 1960's, and many of us remember the national movement for women's rights. It coincided with the movement for civil rights lead by Dr. Martin Luther King. It also coincided with the anti war movement. It was a time of catalysts in extreme. Let me state here and now that as a woman who loves this country dearly, I know that my freedoms and my ability to stand here before you is because of the selfless commitment of our veterans. Their sacrifices have given us much of what we take for granted. I for one believe that this nation owes the Vietnam veterans an apology for the manner in they, the vast majority of whom were men and fathers, were treated upon arriving home. They were treated like outcasts. They were alienated. Such despicable behavior must be recognized and formally amended. A congressional apology would do just that. It's long over due.

The movement for women's rights during the last half of the 20th century brought many changes beginning with the way men and women perceived and interacted with each other. That movement brought many benefits to women and opened doors for new opportunities. Originally the message was also intended to bring new opportunities to men as well. However, the message got distorted. The message became one of anger and hatred, because many of the voices of the women involved were filled with anger and hatred. These women became catalysts in extreme. Many attacked the traditional notions of family and the institution of marriage. To say the least, those attacks caused confusion and anxiety for men, women and children. We see the ripples of that anger in family courts across America today. In fact the ripples have turned into a tidal wave that is destroying the foundation of this nation, the Family. Sadly, in America millions of children go to bed each night not having a relationship with one of their parents, usually it's their father, not always, but usually. When family court is a battle ground everyone suffers.

I consider myself a feminist. I have been involved in the movement for Family Law reform for the past 14 years. My voice represents the voice of the multitude of women, who realize that the anger and hatred of yesterday is not good for today. It was never good. Women across America realize that organizations and voices that still preach from a pulpit of anger and in some cases outright hatred, DO NOT REPRESENT THE BEST INTERESTS OF WOMEN TODAY. Those angry voices preach intolerance and are still looking for ways to maintain leverage and punish men. There is no place for those angry voices, not NOW, not in America in the 21st century. Those angry voices do not yet understand that what is good for women is good for men and what is good for men is good for women.

I represent the majority of women in America who have watched from the sidelines as misguided women hijacked the women's movement and sent it on a collision course with common sense. Women in America have had enough of the rhetoric and self-serving, self-destructive, proclamations of the few.

Extremely insecure women have a self-serving need to cling to children and treat them as possessions. The majority of women in America do not want the sole responsibility of raising children. They want the right to share that responsibility because that allows them the opportunity to develop their own potential as women. Women icons of the liberal and conservative sides of the political fence agree with that. Ms. Karen DeCrow past national President of NOW considered Liberal and Ms. Phyliss Schafly a conservative at heart have said exactly that and they continue to say just that.

When asked, women in majority in America today believe that absent a finding of unfitness by a standard of clear and convincing evidence, both parents should share in the responsibilities of raising children. Yet, family courts continue to usurp the authority of fit parents.

When Family Laws no longer encourage and promote hostility in any form, when Family Laws reflect respect for the family and mandate communication and cooperation between parents, when family laws equally protect the fundamental rights of both parents to the parent-child relationship, America will be a safer and a more balanced and civilized example in the world.

The current "road map" for addressing family issues is full of pot-holes and broken bridges especially where children are involved.

The misuse of abuse statutes is abuse. Statutes that establish a "temporary" status quo but in reality create a de facto permanent position are offensive and create hostility. Statutes that look the other way when false allegations are made to gain advantage and then reward such behavior with empowerment are self-destructive and create an environment that is filled with a volatile mix of unjust enrichment and belligerence.

It's time for America to fix the pot-holes and repair the bridges.

Our children and men and women deserve no less. Solutions do exist. All states should enact as the first tier of involvement in family proceedings alternative dispute resolution programs, mediation if you will, in all matters involving divorce where children are involved. If realistic assessments are made and alternatives are given to parents contemplating divorce, by and large, common sense will prevail. Statistics prove that when such precursor guidelines exist, often times couples reconcile as their emotions of confusion and anger are re-channeled. Education is key to prevention.

If a couple cannot stay together then legislation must reflect a rebuttable presumption of shared parenting for fit parents as the first preference. Women and children will benefit from shared parenting, in every sense. The children will have a more stable and interactive relationship with all family members after divorce. Shared parenting legislation helps keep more doors open for future peaceful communication. Shared parenting provides a woman with a more balanced lifestyle to keep pursuing her lifetime goals. Shared parenting allows a man to feel good about the instinctive sensitivity he feels when he holds his child and to realize that he is much more valuable than a wallet. Money, ladies and gentlemen is not the cure all that it is touted to be. Money does not take the place of touch and stimulation of the senses. Money cannot take the place of a missing parent and any man, women, legislator, or judge that thinks it can, is extremely naive and sadly mistaken.

With shared parenting legislation in place, all other issues will fall into a proper alignment. Shared parenting legislation is a pebble into a pond and its "positive ripples" is far reaching.

However, the ability of the states to avail themselves to proactive legislation that actually benefits all parties is, in my opinion, a fleeting dream It's a dream because the states have turned the carnage into big business. Federal incentives, in most cases unintended consequences of federal legislation, constitute a substantial special interest for the states to continue utilizing the current paradigm. The other aligned special interests that feed from the trough are also very significant.

Moreover, why should my rights as a mom or a man's rights as a dad vary from New York to California. That makes no sense. We are talking about fundamental rights and the most important one, the parent-child relationship.

The federal Congress has a responsibility, indeed an obligation, to step in and do what it did 44 years ago when to recognized and protected civil rights which the states were in capable of dealing with in an even handed manner. The same principles apply now only instead of civil rights we are talking about fundamental rights, the GOD given ones. The most important ones and just as with civil rights the states are incapable of dealing with fundamental rights in an even handed way.

As such, I and women like me nationwide support the Family Preservation and Reconciliation Act known as FPRA. FPRA will do for the most important fundamental right; the parent-child relationship - what the civil rights law did for civil rights, recognize and protect. With passage of FPRA the states will be required to respect the parent-child relationship and establish rules that work. The states will need to go to a merit-based paradigm not destructive the free for all that exits today. FPRA is good for parents. It's good for children It's good for the extended family. FPRA is good for America in the 21st century.

Responsible women want equality and civility in life, in marriage and in divorce. When there is no alternative but divorce, the requisite of shared parenting, for fit parents regardless of gender is what responsible women want.

In closing, I call upon all men and women from all races, colors and creeds to join forces and in unity petition the federal Congress for the passage of FPRA as well petitioning the state legislatures demanding that legislation be enacted that protects the fundamental rights of fit parents and limits the ability of any State to intrude into the protected zone of the family. This will ensure that the primary cornerstone of American society, the family, is recognized and protected. Family Preservation will result. Dr. King lead a march right here 44 years ago. It changed the course of American history. Today, we lead this march, an extension of his dream. Our mission is to make his dream a reality and insure that America has a future history.